You know you’re f’ing terrible at covering sports when you fail to keep up with the rigorous pace of an America East women’s basketball game [no offense to the fine female athletes playing in the vaunted America East conference, including my alma mater Boston University—I’m sure you are all trying really hard to make those nice swooshes]. 

This audio/visual holocaust of sports journalism has already been featured on Deadspin, Buzzfeed and Barstool, so I can hardly claim firsties. But I still felt compelled to post it for the sole purpose of getting in it front of as many eyes as humanly possible, because...