DETROIT--With Lions kicker Jason Hanson injured, 307lb rookie defensive lineman Ndamukong Suh was forced to kick an extra point in the Lions overtime loss to the Jets, thus ending Sebastian Janikowski's decade-plus stranglehold on the title of NFL's fattest kicker. Janikowski, the 250lb kicker for the Raiders, has been the league's undisputed fatass kicker since he was drafted by Oakland in the first round of the 2000 draft.
"It sure was a good run," admitted Janikowski after hearing of Suh's new role as the most corpulent kicker. "Even though the attempt was no good, I still have to tip my hat to kid [Suh]. Being a complete tub of lard and trying something as athletic as kicking a field goal is not easy. Trust me, I know."
While Janikowski was upset the title was no longer his, he was adamant that he would spend his off season drinking Milwaukee's Best and pounding KFC Doublestacks in order to regain his crown.
