San Francisco--Though terms of a deal have yet to be reached, Giant’s ace Tim Lincecum’s arbitration request of $21.5 million per year sets the stage for what promises to be the largest pay-check ever received by a freak since Clam-Man’s $19 million Barnum & Baily deal.
“Some would expect me to be jealous,” said the Clam Man, a half man half mollusk born within a pearly shell, “But this is a great day for the freak agenda. A far cry from an era when Bearded Lady and Dog Boy subsisted on beatings and warmed themselves by elephant dung.”
Sources indicate that once signed,Lincecum intends to use a portion of the money to foster disenfranchised freaks. Hoping to one day form an academy where freaks can harness their powers for the betterment of mankind, and, with some luck, inspire a series of comic books and movies both of which grow progressively worse with time.
