STATE COLLEGE, PA — The State College Blockbuster Video store has reported that their copy of Weekend at Bernie’s is months overdue. The movie was rented by Penn State defensive coordinator Tom Bradley before the 2009 football season began, causing many people to wonder if the 83-year-old head coach Joe Paterno has been dead the entire season. “Now that you mention it, coach has been acting kinda funny,” said senior quarterback Daryll Clark. “He’s been wearing sunglasses nonstop and whenever you see him coach Bradley and coach [Kermit] Buggs are flanking him on either side. I think saw their wrists tied together at halftime at the Capital One Bowl.” Bradley denies he is using Weekend at Bernie’s for tips on how to keep the dead coach looking animated. “I just really enjoy Andrew McCarthy films,” Bradley said.
