WALNUT CREEK - The Pac-10 conference is set to invite at least six Big 12 teams from the midwest. States like California, Arizona, Oregon and Washington have all asked for emergency funds to prepare for the sudden influx of illiterate rednecks to the area. "Texas, Texas A&M, Texas Tech, Oklahoma, Oklahoma State and Colorado all have their share of Jesus-loving, trailer trash," said Pac-10 commissioner Larry Scott. "But they're good at football. Good enough that we might be able to get rid of UCLA. We'll have to wait and see." But not everyone is happy as the commissioner. Fans living in the current Pac-10 states are protesting this decision. They believe that wherever this giant influx of white trash, cabbage-smelling, NASCAR Truck Series fans goes, tornados will follow. Protesters point out that tornados only touch down in trailer parks or near mobile homes used as permanent residences. Extensive weather channel studies have shown this is indeed a cause for alarm. President Obama is preparing to issue emergency aid to the Pac-10 states as it will give him yet another chance to talk about an NCAA college football playoff system.