SEATTLE - Immediately after being ejected from his second spring training game this year, Seattle Mariners outfielder Milton Bradley returned to the locker room to enjoy some personal Milton Bradley time. Just as he was getting into the swing of things, Bradley grew angry and threw his spring training tube sock across the room. He then ejected himself from his own masturbation session. "I feel like that guys got it out for me," said Bradley of himself. "It's really hard to perform your best when people work against you. There's no reason I should be thrown out of these spring training games. Hell there's no reason my penis should throw me outta the locker room. Now that's just plain cold. But whatever, I think we all know that everybody's out to get Milton Bradley, even MIlton Bradley. Cuz that guy's a dick."
