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The Athletic Supporters: Boston

You’re a fan that roots for everything Boston—or Foxboro, but that’s just a technicality. Hell, you’d cheer for a donkey’s ass if there was a B on it. For all you care, Boston is the center of the sports world and has been for as long as you can remember—which is about a day and a half, give or take a 40 oz. Your symptoms are made worse by the fact that Bill Simmons is your only source of sport knowledge. You are one of the most rabid fans in baseball and should in all seriousness not be allowed near small children. On several occasions you have woken up in Worcester covered in raccoon bites.

TAGS: Athletic Supporters, AL East, Boston Red Sox

16 comments

Beard Of Truth Episode 7: An Impassioned Plea To...

Added 1 year 27 weeks ago

Kevin Youkilis’ Beard of Truth offers an impassioned plea to Boston Red Sox general manager Theo Epstein. The Beard hopes that Epstein will make adding more facial hair to the Red Sox...

1 comments

Phillies Assassin: License To Tase

Added 1 year 45 weeks ago

Philly fans have been in the news quite a bit recently, even more than normal. The most notorious fan base in all of professional sports in the United States really needs to calm down....

12 comments

The Athletic Supporters: New York

Added 2 years 29 weeks ago

As a Yankees fan you are liable to start a debate with anyone whether they ask for it or not. As you argue that Derek Jeter is a model citizen and the only true, non-steroid using legend of...

5 comments

Future Fan: NL Wild Card

Added 2 years 34 weeks ago

Are the Rockies in it? Crap

0 comments

The Athletic Supporters: Philadelphia

Added 2 years 29 weeks ago

You, a Phillies supporter, are more of an endless source of entertainment that an actual fan. You would suck a Yuengling out of a dog’s anus for half a Tastykake. Most people cannot...

7 comments

Cocaine Bear Athletic Supporter

Added 1 year 27 weeks ago

THE COCAINE BEAR doesn’t give a damn about your picnic basket. He just wants you to give him a few bumps then he’ll be on his way. A regular on the party scene for nearly 30...

1 comments

The Athletic Supporters: Anaheim

Added 2 years 33 weeks ago

Women. You can’t get enough of them. You love the feeling of having sex with them. It’s practically all you do, which excuses the limited amount of time you spend watching...

0 comments

The Athletic Supporters: Chicago

Added 2 years 35 weeks ago

Upon your birth, you were immediately taken from the maternity award and placed on suicide watch, because you are a Cubs fan. During your early years, you should avoid petting zoos as male...

1 comments

The Athletic Supporters: Los Angeles

Added 2 years 33 weeks ago

Most people don’t have much to say about the Dodgers fan. Probably because most people don’t want you to stab them in the ass with a filed-down Bic pencil. But judging by...

2 comments

San Francisco Giants Athletic Supporter

Added 1 year 28 weeks ago

You’re a San Francisco Giants fan, and you celebrate your individuality. You know your unique because that’s what Apple, Starbucks and REI tell you repeatedly through their...

4 comments