class="rtejustify"> PITTSBURGH—Having already replicated the NFL’s popular marketing technique of having their players suffer career threatening concussions, the NHL, after seeing how NFL star Peyton Manning’s neck injury boosted that league’s image, has announce that their marquee player, Penguins center Sidney Crosby, has a neck injury too.

“Oh man,” said NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman, “Sidney’s neck is totally broken. This is exactly like the whole Peyton Manning thing. It’s really amazing just how similar the NFL and NHL are,” he emphasized while nodding to the reporters in hopes of rallying approval. Bettman hopes his star player’s neck injury will pay similar dividends as it did for the NFL, where Peyton’s neck injury has been a heavily covered story all season long, and continues to be a major storyline even with the Super Bowl this coming Sunday.

Said Bettman, “Because this is so similar to what happened in the football league everyone loves so much, I imagine everyone will be equally interested to see how this drama unfolds, am I right?”