class="rtejustify"> ST. PAUL, MN—Inspired by the large pirate ship that the fellow sea faring Tampa Bay Buccaneers have in their stadium, the Minnesota Vikings have announced that their brand new $975 million stadium’s centerpiece will be a full-sized Viking ship that will celebrate each touchdown by burning and pillaging a random seating section.

Just as the Buccaneers fire cannons from their 103-foot-long ship after each score, the Viking will hire a cast of professional actors and local vagrants to disembark the boat after every Vikings touchdown to terrorize a lucky group of spectators by setting a series of small fires and robbing them of their personal belongings.

“Imagine the excitement if you’re a fan,” said Vikings Chief Marketing Officer Steve LaCroix, “One second you’re watching Adrian Peterson run in for a touchdown, the next second a group of large men wielding battle weapons are setting fire to a pile of napkins in your row and demanding your beer money as ransom. It’s fan interaction you won’t find anywhere else in professional sports!”