KNOXVILLE, TN—The fallout from Tennessee basketball coach Bruce Pearl’s firing has reached the school’s storied women’s program too, leaving legendary coach Pat Summit without anyone to join her at local bars to pick up women. “Bruce was not only a good friend,” confided Summit, “but a great wingman. He was always up for hittin' the bars and hittin' on chicks. He’s a gregarious guy who’d always help you close the deal, and he wouldn’t mind falling on a grenade for you. You know, just a solid dude.”

While Summit never had trouble winning on the court, having totaled eight national championships in her tenure at Tennessee, she’ll be the first to admit that her victories in the bedroom didn’t come until Pearl’s arrival on campus. “Most of my wins in the ‘lady’ category I’ve chalked up thanks to him,” she admitted. “He just radiates confidence and I fed off that. He’s the one who took me out after my divorce and taught me to approach women like I approach basketball. Now that he’s gone," she pause, "I’m not sure what I’ll do.”