INDIANAPOLIS - The numbers are in. And they're huge. The NCAA grew its audience by over 30 percent in the hard-to-reach BDSM category. Marketers have been struggling for years to reach the Bondage, Dominance, Sadism and Masochism market, but the NCAA figured it out this year with all the various reports of coaches abusing their players. "We couldn't believe the numbers," said NCAA chief marketing officer Jonathan Galvin after popping some champagne. "We owe a world of thanks to guys like Mark Mangino and Jim Leavitt. But the guy who truly put us over the top was Mike Leach at Texas Tech. That guy is a genius. He locked his player, a kid with a concussion, in a dark room and wouldn't let him come out. And then, instead of apologizing to the player, he called him a 'slacker.' Our BSDM numbers went through the roof at that moment. Thank you, coach Leach."