class="rtejustify"> GOODYEAR, AZ—As the Indians prepare to break camp, the team has decided to dedicate this season to painstakingly recreating the entire plot of the 1989 film Major League in a last ditch effort to end the second longest championship drought in baseball.

Each player has committed to adopting the characteristics of their cinematic counterpart, with 3rd baseman Lonnie Chisenhall acting like a pretentious prick, catcher Carlos Santana chasing the one woman who got away from him and designated hitter Travis Hafner converting to voodoo, all in attempt to capture the magic that led a ragtag bunch of players to a league title in David Ward's classic baseball comedy.

“With the new postseason structure featuring a one game playoff for wildcard teams, we had a perfect chance to recreate the one game playoff the Indians had with the Yankees in the movie,” said manager Manny Acta, who will remove a piece of clothing from a cardboard cutout of owner Larry Dolan after each Indians win.

“Then we figured we might as well just recreate the whole film. If it worked for them it can work for us. So we’re going to suck pretty hard at the beginning of the season, then get really good at the end, you know, to change it up from how we normally do it.”