BRONX - The New York Yankees made a ton of moves before the MLB trade deadline ended this past weekend. They scooped up a number of future stars, two entire National League teams and media darling Chelsea Clinton at the very last second. Reports have been swirling that the Yankees have been talking to Clinton for weeks and sources high up in the organization say Hank Steinbrenner himself made the drive out to upstate New York just before she decided to sign with some other owner. The new bride, Mrs. Clinton-Yankees, agreed to a 60-year, $2 billion dollar contract by saying, "I do" in a private ceremony and press conference. Clinton will play right field over Nick Swisher and bat fifth in the lineup. In addition, she will also bake brownies, get dinner on the table by 6pm and birth little future sluggers. It's a contract rarely seen in baseball today. The Boston Red Sox are the only other team known to have ever exercised this type of contract, when they signed Jacoby Ellsbury a few years back.