SEATTLE — New Seattle Seahawks head coach Pete Carroll gave up the 40th overall pick in the draft for third-string San Diego Chargers quarterback Charlie Whitehurst, who has never thrown a pass in the NFL. “I offered Mark Sanchez a Cadillac Escalade, but he didn’t even return my calls,” said Carroll. “I even texted Matt Leinart that I had some cheerleaders here willing to show him around town to all the Seattle hot spots, but he gave me the cold shoulder too.” The harsh reality of coaching in the NFL has revealed to Carroll that he can’t use his old college recruiting schemes to get top talent anymore. “These players already have tons of money and women,” said Carroll. “They want me to promise them Super Bowls and endorsements, and everyone knows Seattle Seahawks don’t get those, so I’m at a loss of what to do.” Jim Mora, Jr. reportedly said “tell me about it” as he searched craigslist for a job from his Seattle home.