CHICAGO, IL - US Soccer announced yesterday that it has decided to extend head coach Bob Bradley’s contract because, like most Americans, US Soccer “doesn’t really give two craps about soccer.”

“It’s not about us being unable to find a better replacement or Bob being the right man for the job,” said US Soccer President Sunil Gulati. “It’s more of everyone here at US Soccer not caring about soccer.” Gulati went on to say that with summer almost over everyone didn’t want to waste the few remaining weeks of nice weather on an exhaustive search for the perfect head coach.

“Who are we joking?” continued Gulati. “People in America only care about this crap for one month every four years. If we suck at the next World Cup, we will fire Bob’s ass then. But in the meantime, why go through the trouble? We got better stuff to do.” When asked to elaborate on the more pressing issues he is facing, Gulati said that he really has to get around to cleaning out his garage and is going to spend a big chunk of his time managing his fantasy team and following the NFL on Sundays, or, as Gulati calls it, “real football.”