Tennessee recruits make it official by signing hostesses’ breasts
KNOXVILLE — Top recruits wide receiver Da’Rick Rogers and linebacker Raiques Crump signed with the University of Tennessee today. New head coach Derek Dooley scrambled to get his most sought-after players signed. Dooley said he got an idea from Volunteers men’s basketball coach Bruce Pearl to get his guys to sign. “Rather than signing a traditional document,” said Dooley, “Bruce suggested we have the players sign our hostesses’ breasts.” Dooley chose Volunteers hostess Heather Collins to represent the team at signing. “Alright boys, sign anywhere you want,” said Dooley to the players. The wide-eyed recruits dove in to sign Collins’ rack, the bustiest of all the Tennessee hostesses. “Don’t be shy boys, those titties are D-cups. Use the fat magic marker.” Recruits were then allowed a 30-second motor boat in Collins’ cleavage before donning the bright orange Volunteers cap.
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