Can you believe it? For the first time ever, I’m actually doing a Jackasses piece on consecutive days. I don’t know what it is. I guess all of the chatter over Epic Beard /”I AM A MOTHERFUCKER” t-shirt guy has put me in the taunting mood. Whatever it is, let’s get right to Wednesday’s TAUNTR.com Sports Jackasses of the Day.

1. Mississippi State Basketball fans: In the world of social media, this kind of thing happens all of the time now. You know the drill. A college fan base somehow gets its hands on the cell phone number of an opposing team’s best player. LSU football fans famously pulled the trick on Tim Tebow. Usually, the pranks are done in decent taste, though, causing minimal harm outside of the star player having to get an unlisted/new cell number.

The racist scumbags of Mississippi, however, took it to a new low this week. Hoping to gain some kind of edge in their matchup against number two-ranked and conference power Kentucky, Mississippi State University fans decided to get in on the cell phone taunting action. It began harmlessly enough when one Bulldogs fan published the cell phone number of Wildcats star DeMarcus Cousins on the Internet. Soon thereafter, of course, Cousins’ cell phone was bombarded with hundreds of anonymous calls and text messages. In fact, the term “DeMarcus Cousins cell phone number” was one of the most searched keywords in Google Trends. But this is where the jackass behavior comes in. Speaking with reporters at practice earlier this week, Cousins repeated some of the offensive homophobic and racist slurs left on his voice mail by MSU fans. Check the video below.



Which is classless. Again, I get the appeal of bombarding a player’s cell piece. I’m personally more of a fan of poking a player’s Facebook page, so you don’t mess with a kid’s phone plan. But I get why doing so would be appealing. Naïve fans actually think that they can get into a player’s head, impacting performance/results without stepping foot on the floor. But to utter those kinds of slurs on a voice message is despicable, again proving that racism is unfortunately still alive and well in certain parts of the country; if you need further proof, check the YouTube comments on the Epic Beard guy video.

The jackass actions of a handful of those MSU students to leave derogatory voice mails, though, were what made it so satisfying to see Kentucky top Mississippi State 81-75 in overtime last night. Cousins got some sweet revenge, finishing with 19 points and 14 rebounds to lead his team to a victory. Which led to this sweet taunt. Fuck off, MSU.

2. PETA: I’m so sick of the organization PETA. I’m in no way trying to condone what Michael Vick did a few years ago, but you know that the organization was secretly celebrating when the high-profile story broke out. It gave them the opportunity to further promote their agendas/attract attention to their causes. Anyone who thinks they’d rather have the dogs used in the Vick ring alive and well kicking today over the attention/new sources of funds resulting from the case should call me. I’ve got some oceanfront property in Arizona to sell you.

But the group, perhaps disappointed that no marquee athletes are currently organizing any dog fighting rings that we know of, sent two protesters to interrupt the Westminster Dog show last night. The winning dog, Scottie Saddie, deserved its night in the limelight. But two “well-dressed” women walked across the ring at Madison Square Garden—how did they get by security, by the way?—holding up signs that read “Mutts Rule” and “Breeders Kill Shelter Dog’s Chances.” Again, the organization was looking for publicity, attending the popular dog event. If they think the dogs that competed last night are mistreated, when they arguably receive better health care/food than most American citizens, are delusional. I like dogs. I don’t wish harm upon any animal, of course, and I genuinely do support people who devote their free time in order to best protect them. When it’s that obvious what PETA’s true intentions are, though, it’s hard to support the group. Last night’s women were definite jackasses.

3. LaMichael James: Yesterday, I wrote the University of Florida was turning into the Cincinnati Bengals of the SEC. One of the jackasses called out in the post, Gary Brown, became the 27th Gators player arrested during the Urban Meyer era. Well, after another Oregon football player was arrested today, you can make a similar argument against the Ducks, who are quickly becoming the Bengals of the Pac-10. Running back LaMichael James, who ranked ninth in the nation with 1,546 yards rushing as a true freshman last fall, was arrested and jailed on domestic violence charges after allegedly grabbing his girlfriend’s neck and pushing her to the ground.

What is it about Oregon players with names starting with the letters La? If you recall, the man who James replaced as the feature back in the Ducks’ offense, LaGarrette Blount, was suspended for most of the season after punching a Boise State player in the face—during sportsmanship week, no less—on national television. Blount is long gone, trying to do everything he can to break into the NFL. But the problems are only beginning for the program that he’s leaving behind. The other most notable incident was when senior quarterback “Holy Mole, is that my boy Jeremiah Masoli” was accused of stealing laptops earlier this offseason. So, while Oregon had a phenomenal rise to the Rose Bowl and conference title, repeating could be a challenge with all the off-field issues plaguing the program. And, like I said with Brown, hitting/choking a woman is never okay. So, if what’s alleged is true, James is a jackass.

4. Al Davis: I touched on this last night, but the Oakland Raiders made Sebastian Janikowski the highest-paid kicker in history yesterday. The Raiders gave Janikowski a four-year, $16-M contract, with $9-M guaranteed. That’s crazy even for Al Davis standards. Oakland’s roster is filled with holes, and tying up that much money into a position like kicker is fucking retarded. It can’t be said enough.

5. Travis Ishikawa: Add another freak MLB injury to the list. According to a tweet from San Francisco Chronicle writer Henry Schluman, San Francisco Giants first baseman Travis Ishikawa wore a protective boot on his left foot while taking batting practice in spring training today. The reason? Ishikawa tripped on a staircase three weeks ago. If he needs surgery, Schluman reports, he could miss up to three months. So, while he’s not quite in Brad Bergesen territory, this is pretty bad. Walk much, Travis?

Now this is hardly as big of a blow to the Giants as losing Bergensen would be for the Baltimore Orioles. Ishikawa carries the bat of a middle infielder at a position where you need pop, boasting a weak career line of .265/.330/.402 with a 90 OPS+; league average is 100. While he’s an excellent defender at first base and can hit righties a bit, he’s hardly a stud and is essentially just an extra bat off the bench. Still, for falling down on the stairs and potentially missing some playing time because of it, he’s a jackass.