Rex Ryan kills his trainer at Sea World
ORLANDO - A somber day at Sea World after a trainer was killed by Rex Ryan during a show. Audience members reported seeing the trainer kneeling on the edge of the pool, patting Rex Ryan, when the six-ton creature grabbed her by the ponytail and pulled her into the water where it swallowed her whole. Rex Ryan, had just been fed a mixture of chum and Cheetos no more than 2 hours prior. Apparently, it wasn't enough. "We're trying to figure out what to do with this massive beast," said head trainer Juan Thompkins. "The NFL preseason is a few months away and Rex Ryan's hunger for human flesh will probably grow now that he's had a taste for it. That's usually how these things go. We've already had requests from the creature. It's obsessed with deep fat, fried Peyton Manning."
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