NEW YORK — New York Jets head coach Rex Ryan has become so unhappy with Darrelle Revis, he has banished the star cornerback from Revis Island. Revis faked an injury and/or headache at mini camp because he is unhappy with his contract. This infuriated the coach and now Ryan’s actions may cause a lockout situation with the team’s star that could last into the regular season. “I took a boat out to Revis Island,” said Ryan. “I told him to get in the hatch. It’s this buried place on Revis Island where he’s got to punch numbers into a computer every 90 minutes. No daylight. No dancing around making it rain. No interaction with “the others.” I don’t care if none of the team gets off the island this year. He’s staying in the hatch until I say so.” Ryan then went off to eat some Dharma Initiative peanut butter and play backgammon with wide receiver Santonio Holmes. “There are two sides,” said Ryan. “You’re either white or black. Or you’re me. I’m the smoke monster. I’m the coach. I’m John Locke. I am God and this island. You will respect my autority.”