Norv Turner wants 4 more years of sexual asphyxiation in the playoffs, gets it
SAN DIEGO - Hours after gasping for air as the San Diego Chargers choked in the playoffs with a loss to the New York Jets, Norv Turner signed a contract extension. The Chargers wanted Turner to stay and Turner made them specifically state in the contract that each year the team would be highly regarded and then collapse in the first or second round of the playoffs due to sexual asphyxiation. "I get off on that shit," said Turner. "It's hot." The Chargers organization wanted the choking to continue but weren't sure about adding in the sexual element, eventually they gave in. "Norv deserves it," says Nicholas Nelson, Head of Choking Contracts. "He's worked hard for us and he should be able to enjoy it. Plus we've already got a ton of ideas for marketing ourselves around this idea. Cool giveaways, halftime contests, T-shirts with witty slogans. This is gonna take off. I'm really getting excited here."
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