DETROIT - After the Detroit Lions-Cleveland Browns preseason game, NFL referee Scott Green admitted he didn't know the rules when he called a penalty against Detroit defensive tackle Ndamukong Suh for a facemask on Cleveland QB Jake Delhomme. "It's my fault," said Green. "I need to know the rule book like the back of my hand and it clearly states that Ndamukong Suh is allowed–and should be encouraged–to rip the head off of sissy pants Jake Delhomme. That's it. Word for word. You can bet that I–or anyone else for that matter– won't ever forget it again." 

The office of the Commissioner issued a statement saying that's what preseason is for, to shake the rust off. "We're just thankful that it wasn't a regular season game or heaven forbid, the playoffs," says Roger Goodell. "A 15-yard penalty is horrible. This rule is one of our newest and quite frankly, it's been a long time coming. There's no doubt in my mind that it will be good for this game if Suh rips Delhomme's head off and then parades it around on a stake. Think of the highlight reels. We've got the fireworks ready to go."