INDIANAPOLIS — After allegations that the Kentucky Wildcats’ basketball program may have violated rules when players on the team had relationships with agents. This is another violation in a long line of tarnished elite programs in the NCAA from Southern Cal to Florida, from basketball to football. The NCAA has finally decided to spearhead an investigation to find at least one championship program that hasn’t cheated in recent history. “We will find a championship team that hasn’t cheated,” said Chairman of the NCAA Committee in Infractions Paul Dee. “I promise at least one team since 2000 won a championship legitimately. Without kids getting gifts from agents or boosters. You will see. The NCAA will prove we are on the up and up.” A top athlete on a NCAA champion basketball program who has chosen to remain anonymous reacted to Dee’s announcement. “Um, does that mean I’m going to have to show receipts for my Cadillac Escalade, my seven Armani suits and this Rolex?” The athlete continued. “I paid for the suits and the watch with my summer job at the Dairy Queen. My mom bought me the Escalade for my 18th birthday. It’s all legit bro. I promise.”