Mets find Perez in alley dumpster tell him to 'go pitch for an inning, dumpster will still be there when you get back'
NEW YORK - The New York Mets finally found where Oliver Perez has been hiding. After a half-hearted search for the Mets pitcher, Perez was discovered, living in a dumpster in an alley near Jersey City. Perez last pitched against the Arizona Diamonbacks on August 1 and hasn't been seen since. Someone in payroll alerted Mets manager Jerry Manuel to this oversight and Manuel set off to find him.
"I knew I could find him," said Manuel. "I just had to get in his head and figure out where most Mets pitchers usually go. Boom. Dumpster in Jersey City. When I found him, he was wrapped up in an old shower curtain, eating from an expired jar of pickle relish and listening to stray cats go into heat. I said, 'You need to get out there and pitch an inning or two for us. All of this will be here when you get back.' Sure enough, he's back there, cheering on a tabby and a calico as we speak."
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