Matt Cooke knockout restores balance to the universe

ATLANTA - The High Council of Ancient Elders is pleased today after balance was restored to the universe when Pittsburgh Penguins tough guy Matt Cooke was knocked out cold with one punch. A month back Cooke single handedly tilted the axis of our world into the realm of shadow and darkness when he committed a dirty hit on the Boston Bruins' Marc Savard. Savard still hasn't returned to play. But Atlanta Thrasher rookie Evander Kane ushered in a new age of light and balance (just in time for the NHL Playoffs) when he knocked Cooke the F out. "It all happened so fast," said Kotor, a Council elder. "Thank god the camera got there in time. It would have been a shame if we'd missed that punch and couldn't watch his ass drop like a ton of bricks on the Internet over and over again. Boom! He's down. Boom! He's down. Is YouTube the greatest invention ever or what?"

TAGS: NHL, In The News

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