Madden telestrates family Thanksgiving festivities
OAKLAND — Retired head coach and broadcasting legend John Madden used his old telestrator pen to carve the Thanksgiving turducken at his home in Pleasanton Thursday. “First, Dad was telling us about the turducken using the turkey baster as a microphone,” said Madden’s son Chris. “He was going on about BOOM the different meats and BAM the ingredients in each layer of stuffing. Then he took his telestrator pen, which he carries around all the time, and started carving up the meat with that. It was disgusting.” Madden worked as an NFL color commentator for 30 years and retired after the 2009 season. “I guess he doesn’t know what else to do,” said Chris. “He spends a lot of time out in the driveway in the Madden Cruiser, pretending like he is driving to a game. It’s kinda sad.” After carving the turducken, Madden then used the pen on his grandson Jacob’s cheek to telestrate how he would eat his slice. However, the stray gravy ended up looking like a crude penis and testicles, creating tension at the table undetected by the oblivious ex-commentator.
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