Annnnnnnndddddddd they're off!

Today marks the official first day of the LeBron Derby, LeBronukah, Death Race LeBron000, Tour De LeBron, The Bachelorette, whatever you want to call it.

This has everyone in such a tizzy ESPN.com crashed. Wow.

The Nets and Knicks were first up. I'm sure the Knicks promised him, well, New York. But I bet the Nets gave the better presentation. I imagine they paraded Jay-Z into a meeting, showed LeBron the cover of his first rap album (already recorded and produced),  Mikhail Prokhorov showing him the catalogue of Russian escorts he would have at his every whim. That's a tough one to deny even if you have to wear a Nets jersey for seven years. Stan Tanna will put his money on the Nets' dog.

There's still Chicago, Miami, and whoever else wants to whore themselves out. Cleveland will still wave every last dollar they can to get him to stay as well. We at TAUNTR are sure LeBron will take his sweet time deciding. We know we would. How much more fun can you have than having every NBA team fawn all over you for the summer?

Enjoy it King James. Enjoy it.