Lane Kiffin recruits sperm from some guy's dong

LOS ANGELES - The University of Southern California Trojans coach Lane Kiffin is already working hard at recruiting the future of the USC program. And Kiffin is getting some young recruits to commit very early. After receiving a verbal commitment from a middle schooler in central California, Kiffin traveled to a mall in San Dimas to meet with a man in the food court about possibly recruiting his offspring. "We sat down near Sbarro," Kiffin told the press. "He said he's got an entire team that he thinks I'd be interested in. We went into the bathroom. That's where the verbal commitment occurred. People say, 'Lane, that's too young.' I say you do what it takes to win. That might be a tough thing to swallow for a lot of coaches out there. But not me"

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