Kristen Stewart shows range in new film by frowning while wearing armor

LOS ANGELES, CA - Thanks to her role as Bella Swan in the Twilight films, everyone loves Kristen Stewart. With each dead eyed stare - each put upon, dour line reading, Stewart has more firmly entrenched herself in the hearts of audiences the world over. Now the beloved star of the dull abstinence lecture-cum-unstoppable teen franchise is looking to broaden her horizons in Snow White & the Huntsman, which comes out this weekend.

“Any time you’re involved in something that huge, there’s a danger of being typecast into that one role,” the starlet mumbled while refusing to make eye contact. “I’m capable of being so much more than, like, a mopey pretty girl wearing drab clothes, frowning at monsters in the Pacific Northwest.”

In Snow White & the Huntsman, Stewart will play a mopey pretty girl wearing armor, frowning at monsters in a fairy tale. “Being an actor is about, umm, challenging your own limits. Like, this movie doesn’t even have a vampire cesarean.”

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