Kansas City to host All-Star game, George Brett shits himself

KANSAS CITY - MLB Commissioner Bud Selig announced that the Kansas City Royals will host the MLB All-Star Game in 2012. Former Royals star and part-time coach George Brett heard the announcement that Kaufmann Stadium would host the Mid-Summer Classic and promptly sh*t his pants. "I sh*t my pants over that announcement," said Brett. "I heard that great news, just great f*cking news and I had to go to the bathroom so bad. Then I had f*cking sh*t in my pants. I'm good twice a year for that." Brett also went on to say that he was excited about 2012 being the year for the Kansas City because coincidentally, it's the year the Mayan calendar ends. "I double sh*t my pants when someone told me that... just twice as much as normal," Brett continued. "Scary stuff. It just ran down my leg and into my shoes. The world might end in 2012 but at least we'll have a great summer here in Kansas City. Then we'll all be sh*tting ourselves come winter. That's when the Mayan zombies are supposed to come and sacrifice our goats and eat our brains. I've already got my butt pinched so f*cking tight. I might never see a perfect double tapered sh*t again.... Hey, who are the pitchers in this All-Star game?"

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