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Jimmy Johnson to be edited out of Survivor due to constant Extenze boner

MIAMI — Former Super Bowl Champion head coach and current Extenze spokesman Jimmy Johnson will be edited out of CBS’ upcoming season of Survivor, says network officials, due to Johnson having what was described as a constant Extenze boner. “Jimmy was great,” said Survivor: Nicaragua host Jeff Probst. “But he was popping Extenze pills the entire time and strutting around with a pitched tent in his pants.” Probst said after a few days of shock and disgust, the contestants became used to it. However Johnson and his johnson will have to be edited out do to the explicit nature of his erectile function. “The FCC won’t even allow him to be seen with it blurred out,” said Probst. “And now we’re going to lose the Extenze sponsorship money, so that blows.” Probst said that editors weren’t able to get Johnson completely out of every shot. “The editors are having to improvise,” he said. “If you see Johnson it will only be waist up in the show. That’s a promise. It’s a promise so your kids can watch Survivor: Nicaragua without having to see Jimmy’s steel banana.”

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