NEW YORK – Alabama running back Mark Ingram was named the 2009 Heisman Trophy winner on Saturday night in the closest vote in award history. Despite being considered the best player in the nation by most talent evaluators, Nebraska defensive tackle Ndamukong Suh finished just fourth. When pressed on why Suh had such a disappointing showing, several prominent sports writers with votes came out and acknowledged that they did not actually know what role a defensive tackle plays on the field. “Yes, I wasn’t sure what the DT next to Suh’s name meant on the ballot,” explained voter Michael Foster. “I thought it was a typo, to be honest. Since I failed to recognize the name and haven’t seen a Nebraska game in the past week, I had no reason to give him much consideration.” Foster then repeated what he believed to be the guidelines given to him by the Heisman Committee. “The rules essentially state that we can only vote for a quarterback, running back or wideout who plays for an undefeated team.” As a defensive player, he theorized, it must have been an oversight that Suh was even a serious candidate.