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Hester neglects to wear right equipment

CHICAGO — The National Football League has fined Chicago Bears star Devin Hester $20,000 for not wearing an NFL-issued thong Sunday. After making a reception in the fourth quarter, Hester was pantsed by a Philadelphia Eagles defensive back attempting to make a tackle, revealing that Hester was not wearing an NFL-issued thong, or any other underwear, for that matter. “The league issues each player a thong with an embroidered NFL Equipment logo for scenarios just like this,” said commissioner Roger Goodell. “What could have been a PG-13 scene with the right equipment escalated to R-rated because of Hester’s blatant disregard for the rules.” However, Hester may be able to make up the fine money back in endorsements. According to Hester’s agent Brian Lammi, he has been approached by companies looking to use his ass as a sort of human billboard. “Taco Bell and KFC are very interested,” said Lammi.
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