Gary Coleman arrested for impersonating Oden's penis

PORTLAND — Former actor Gary Coleman was released from Multnomah County Jail early Wednesday morning after being arrested for impersonating Greg Oden’s penis. Police arrested Coleman, who was out partying with the injured center for the Portland Trailblazers when police got a call that Oden was exposing his penis. “We were there to arrest Oden’s penis for public indecency,” said sheriff Nathan Regan. “It was dark in the club and from the pictures we’ve seen of Oden’s penis, Coleman fit the description, so we took him in.” The sheriff admits that after seeing Coleman in better light and his spot-on reciting of “what you talkin’ about Willis!” police believed he was not the penis of the star basketball player, and in fact the washed up child actor. Coleman made a brief statement as he was released. “I’m flattered to be compared to Greg’s dong. That thing is at least 3 inches taller than me and has seen more action than I ever will. I take it as a huge compliment. Pun intended.”

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