BASEBALL STADIUMS EVERYWHERE - Baseball fans in stadiums everywhere are quickly finding out that all the players they came to see play, aren't play anymore. Tons of injuries, retirements and father-in-law fights have forced many out of baseball this year. Dustin Pedroia, Kevin Youkilis, K-Rod, Ken Griffey Jr. and now Stephen Strasburg are gone. And they're being replaced with crappy minor leaguers at major league prices. "I'm not shelling out $100 bucks to see the Pawtucket Red Sox play at Fenway," said one irate Boston fan. "Where are the real Sox? You, know the ones that make it into the playoffs? I'm not putting my pink hat on and leaving the house for this Pawtucket team."  A Nationals fan is also saddened by the loss of Strasburg due to a torn UCL. "There's nothing left to root for. Just like that, we've become the Orioles. Even the visiting teams are a bunch of nobodies. I don't recognize any of the names on the uniforms." ESPN has also been hard hit by the loss of star players. Currently, they're scrambling to hire analysts that know something, anything about these new ball players. Until that time, they plan to air more Brett Favre coverage. "Thank god for football," says one bored baseball fan. "Every year it comes just in the nick of time."