NEW ORLEANS — Saints quarterback and Super Bowl MVP Drew Brees ended the tragic Gulf Coast oil spill Thursday with a single perfect spiral. Desperate for a solution since nothing had been working to plug the gushing oil leak in the gulf, the Coast Guard called in New Orleans’ biggest superhero Drew Brees. “The guy can do anything,” said Coast Guard Admiral Sally Brice-O’Hara. “Did you see him win that softball home run derby? The guy’s amazing.” When the Coast Guard realized the leak was exactly the circumference of a NFL football, they knew there was only one person to call. “We asked him to bring his football and meet us at the chopper,” said Brice-O’Hara. “We flew over the leak and he gunned a perfect spiral directly into the leak to plug it up. How he kept the spiral through thousands of feet of sea water, I have no idea. But that’s why he’s the quarterback of the New Orleans Saints.” The Coast Guard has deployed Reggie Bush to swim laps around the slick until head coach Sean Payton can burn it all off.