Depressed Bodemeister developing dangerous sugar cube habit

BALTIMORE—Unable to cope with the overwhelming disappointment of going from Kentucky Derby favorite to back-to-back last second defeats, Bodemeister has reportedly began abusing hexahedron sucrose, more commonly known by its stable name as sugar cubes.

Though recreational and limited sugar cube use is common in stables, sources claim Bodemeister’s problem has been exasperated by losing to a surging I’ll Have Another during the final stretch of the first two Triple Crown races. Now his addiction is so out of control, trainers have had to withdrawal Bodemeister from next month’s Belmont Stakes.

“It’s gotten bad,” said one groomer who spoke on the condition of anonymity. “Before it was two or three cubes a day, now it’s as many as two or three boxes. He won’t even come out of his stall in the morning until he gets his fix, and when he does, his behavior is erratic at best. It’s sad really, before he was a prime physical specimen, always took care of himself, now he just doesn’t know how to say nay.”

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