Dennis Rodman furious over dismissal as first openly gay athlete.

New York, New York--From the champagne room of Jiggle Joint, over the din of down-tempo music and lust-filled sighs, a roar of fury erupted. When news broke yesterday, that Rick Welts, CEO of the Phoenix Suns, had opened his private life to the public and revealed the true nature of his sexual orientation a national dialogue began. Shows of support flooded in from across the country, yet the main focus of the dialogue was the lack of a relevant gay athlete embracing his sexuality in the prime of his career. It was this notion that caused such an emphatic eruption at the Jiggle Joint.

“What more did I have to do!” blasted an irate Dennis Rodman. “Did I have to spell it out for those fools!” Rodman, who throughout his career was equally maligned and admired for his eccentricities, took as an affront the media’s misinterpretation of his lifestyle. “Sure, I loved the ladies, but I loved just as much the whiskered embrace of a man. Wasn’t it obvious? I mean google image search me. Just look at those outfits! Could I have made it clearer?”

When a patron of the Gentleman's Club, quipped “Well that explains your love for boxing out?” Rodman responded with a choke-hold and some words of advice: “Listen you cute little jelly bean, my b-ball DNA and my love DNA, they’re two separate things. You keep your machismo out of the strip club, there’s no place for it here.”

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