REVIS ISLAND - New York Jets cornerback Darrelle Revis is has finally secured the funds needed to begin construction on the Revis Memorial Bridge that would connect Revis Island to the mainland. The $46 million dollar undertaking will start immediately and will allow visitors to come and go as they please, with the exception of the $20,000 toll if you'd like to escape the island. "It is the most expensive island bridge to date," said Revis. "It's good to be connected to the mainland. Especially if there's a storm or I need groceries. It's great to be able to buy groceries again. Staple stuff, essentials like almas caviar and white truffle mushrooms. There ain't no way I could build a little dinky wooden bridge with the funds that I had before. We'd all fall in to the sea! I would've gone to other investors to see what kind of bridge I could get from them if I had to. Revis Island is the best island in the I want people to be able to appreciate it for all it's beauty. Stop by for a visit. Cash only."