TRENTON, NJ — As 12-year-old Dylan Palumbo watched the season premiere of Jersey Shore for the fifth time this week on his DVR, his father Randy Palumbo entered his bedroom and paused the show. “Son, I know what you must be feeling right now,” said Palumbo. “As you surely know A-Rod just hit his 600th home run. I know you might be tempted to root for him, or in fact look to him to be a role model. He of course has made millions of dollars and has been one of the best athletes Major League Baseball has ever seen. But you need to know that A-Rod took steroids for a period of time, and this taints everything he’s ever done. I’m afraid if you look to A-Rod for guidance you will lose your way. And besides, remember, we’re Phillies fans.” Son Dylan sat quietly, then replied, “Can I watch Jersey Shore now?” Randy smiled. “Sure son,” said Randy. “Okay, I’ll see you next month when your mom lets me visit again. Sorry I missed the last two months. Daddy had some gambling debts he had to work off.”