Cops can't refrain from making 'Beaver' jokes during naked OSU player's arrest

CORVALLIS — Oregon State Beavers offensive lineman Tyler Thomas was kicked off the team after being arrested Sunday morning. A 32-year-old woman called police reporting a naked man in the upstairs office of her residence. When the police arrived they found Thomas naked and drunk. At the immediate sight of his shriveled whiskey dick, the police began to chuckle. “Officer Hagardy pointed to his privates and said, ‘look boys it’s a Beaver,’ said Benton County deputy sheriff Scott Westland. “We all got a good laugh at that because of the double entendre. Hagardy is a laugh riot.” Westland then explained that the joke may have enraged the young lineman. “He told us to stop laughing and Hagardy said we would as soon as his Beaver went back into hibernation,” Westland said. “Then he got into a three-point stance and Hagardy just whispered ‘vagina’ and the kid basically did a pass-rushing drill on the officer. That’s when we tased him and booked him. Man that was funny. Especially because I’m more of a Ducks fan than Beavers fan anyway. It’s always a good night when you can tase a Beaver.” Westland then chuckled to himself quietly.

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