Colts bring back Marvin Harrison to murder the Ravens defense

INDIANAPOLIS - The Indianapolis Colts are nervous about their AFC playoff game against the nefarious Baltimore Ravens. So nervous in fact, they decided to bring back the lawless Marvin Harrison to see if he could shoot some more people and get away with it. "Harrison's gonna come back in and do what he's good at," said coach Jim Caldwell. "And that thing is: cold-blooded murder and stuff, allegedly." Caldwell had Peyton Manning (who was standing directly behind him while speaking to the press) carefully mime air quotes as he emphasized "allegedly." "That way we can rest out starters," continued Caldwell. "...because Harrison could just as easily turn on us. And if Manning goes down, there'll be no one left to coach this team successfully."

TAGS: Baltimore Ravens, NFL, Indianapolis Colts, Fake News Headlines, In The News

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