INDIANAPOLIS - After every journalist who ever lived has declared the New Orleans Saints America's team, France has decided to declare the still unbeaten Indianapolis Colts as their team. "It seems as thowa ze stupid amerikins did not want zem. Zay were ripe for zee picking. We used to 'av New Orleans but we lost zem. It is ok. We prefer Indy. Plus, Monsieur Manning is a brilliant act-tor! Ze best since Jerry Lewis!" said Frenchman Gerard Depardieu. Patriotic Americans could care less about the French choosing Indianapolis. "New Orleans is an American city. There's tragedy, history we stole fair and square from other nationalities that have settled there and cheap, plastic beaded necklaces for ta-tas. Indianapolis is un-American. We don't need that team, I plan on boycotting that city. And if you're not with us, you're against us. We don't need no French media over here manipulating our thoughts," said American Bubba Hickcock as he spoke candidly over a basket of Freedom Fries.