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Carmelo Anthony broken-hearted seeing basketball in another man’s arms

New York, NY--Amidst the exuberance of Linsanity, Carmelo Anthony, who weeks ago negotiated a break from his long time monogamous partner, the basketball, remains the lone malcontent, and reports have surfaced indicating the All Star forward wants his former love back.

According to sources close to the basketball, the break-up was something friends had been hoping for for ages. “He was so possessive,” said a confidant who's known the ball for years. “He never let her hang out with friends, and anytime circumstances made it so she had to be away from him, he would be calling for her all the time. I know he says things will be different this time around, but they all say that.”

Though many have labeled him delusional,  Anthony believes Valentines day will mark his re-entry into the basketball's life. The confident Knicks superstar even went as far as to announce his plans for reconciliation, detailing how some “alone time on the high wing” or maybe, if things get wild, “a long-slow double team on the low block,” would be all it took to win her back. Later adding that winning games was something he refused to guarantee with such certainty.

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