In a scandal rocking Melbourne, a world class ball boy, designated just a day ago to work the men’s Open championship, has been revealed to have never been a boy at all, but rather a 68 year old con man with great skin and two grand children.

Open officials issued an embarrassed apology this morning, stating: “It has come to our attention that a grave oversight was made in our ball boy selection process and that we have, in fact, chosen a ball man. In retrospect, our mistake seems especially egregious considering our interview consisted entirely of his showing Polaroid pictures of “friends,” and detailing those friends every success in mind numbingly mundane detail, but he was just so enthusiastic and endearing we couldn’t help but believe his claim to be 14 years old.

Sources indicate, the Grandfather’s cover was called into suspect after a colleague caught him updating his Myspace profile, and later completely blown when he foolishly offered Raquel Welch, Elizabeth Taylor and Patty Hearst as options in a game of Kill, F--k, Marry.