The Athletic Supporters: Chicago
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Upon your birth, you were immediately taken from the maternity award and placed on suicide watch, because you are a Cubs fan. During your early years, you should avoid petting zoos as male goats can easily mistake you for a female goat. The most historic thing you’ll ever see occur at Wrigley is the Winter Classic a few years back. As a Cubs fan, you will maintain your sanity by telling yourself that all teams have rebuilding years, and the Cubs are just having a rebuilding century. However, the realization that Chicago is just another crappy midwestern city will be the straw that breaks your fat, stumpy camel’s back.
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