Astros dream of a better life as a 5th place AL West team

HOUSTON—As the Houston Astros hopelessly trudged through another day as the NL Central’s 6th place team, their only motivation to wake up in the morning was a far fetched dream of someday escaping their cramped division and making a better life for themselves in the AL West.

“Do you know they only have four teams out there?” said Carlos Lee. “Only four! That’s amazing! We could live out there, lose every single game and we’d still finish higher than we’ll ever finish here,” to which his Astros teammates shook their heads in bewilderment.

“Pitchers don’t even have to hit." Lee continued, trying to divert everyone’s thoughts away from their fate as the division’s worst team. "They have guys who do it for them.”

“Now you’re just making stuff up,” said pitcher Bud Norris.

“You’ll see,” replied Lee. “It sounds unreal, but it’s all true, and one day there's going to be realignment and it’ll be our life. I’m not saying we’ll live like kings, but we certainly won’t be live like this: toiling away in a six team division. There’s space out West. Room to thrive. Room to dream.”

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