Roberto Luongo

Real Audio from the Tim Thomas handshake

Timmy Thomas may be the smoothest mother on ice, saving shots like a hoarder saves their own hair clippings (and by that I mean every last one of them), but when it comes to the post game handshake, he leaves much to be desired. Subtlety, compassion, Thomas can cite...

Canucks compliment Luongo on his hat and impeccable door opening skills

48 weeks 5 days ago

BOSTON—At a loss for words after witnessing Roberto Luongo implode once again, but not wanting to further damage their his delicate psyche, members of the Vancouver Canucks attempted...

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Tim Thomas Air Pump

48 weeks 6 days ago

Despite being on the cusp of winning his franchise’s first Stanley Cup, Roberto Luongo feels slighted that opposing netminder Tim Thomas has failed to compliment him, saying, “I...

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Canucks to remove laces from Luongo’s skates as added precaution

1 year 3 weeks ago

VANCOUVER, BC—Concerned about the delicate mental state of Roberto Luongo, the Vancouver Canucks announced they are removing the laces from the skates of their beleaguered goalie to...

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