Central Division

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Blackhawks in playoffs after Gary Bettman can’t think of...CHICAGO—Despite an inconsistent season in which they failed to resemble the dominant team that won the Stanley Cup last year, the Blackhawks still managed to make the playoffs because they were one of only eight teams in the Western Conference that NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman could name. “Oh man,” a frazzled Bettman said when asked about the teams participating in this year’s playoffs. “That’s here already? Geez, you guys are really putting me on the spot. OK, let me think for a second.”

Bettman paused for several moments, racking his brain for the answers. “Allright, I'm sure Chicago is one because they won last year. Vancouver is another team. Then you got San Jose and Detroit. I know Phoenix and Nashville because those make me laugh.” Bettman then hesitated for several more moments before realizing there were two other teams in California, “Right, Anaheim and LA! Is that eight? That’s all we need, right?” To which his associates nodded their heads. “Awesome. Well, let me know how it turns out and I’ll see you guys when we hand out that big cup thing.”

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