I know the average person will find this story uplifting, but the average person is a dumb sack of crap. It’s insulting more than anything else. Look, I give this Bill Carter character credit for still working at the age of 88, because when I’m 88, I’ll more than likely be a decade dead from heart complications, liver disease, a hunting accident or a combination thereof.

But who does this cake eater think he is by not collecting a paycheck? Oh, must be nice to be Bill Carter of Marlow, Oklahoma, the saintly octogenarian who is too damn good to collect money for a job us “lesser” folks would expect compensation for. Can’t he just accept a couple bucks or a bag of Andes mints to put in his crystal candy dish, you know, just for appearances? At least that way it’s a...