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Can you spare a quarter for Mr. Met?

The Mets will probably ask this baby to leave and as incentive offer to pay for his college. Sure, a bachelors in 2029 will cost a cool million but that's a problem for the future Mets. And the best part about the future Mets is that they aren’t the present Mets, who are more representative of destitute, credit and forget America than anything in America.

This past decade has been rough for Mr. Met. Everything started fine with the subway series, then Mr. Met lets Bernie Madoff slip his hand in his pocket, wiggle for a few seconds, and--poof--the poor guy is sans pants. Now Bobby Bonilla,who twelve years ago saw a loose thread and started pulling, has finally unraveled his Jersey leaving the walking, singing baseball stark naked and moaning the blues. It worries me. The probability that we see the franchise...

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TAGS: MLB, New York Mets, National League
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